Some Small Things # 17 - Lucid Dreams

I just woke up four times in a row. And I've never had a lucid dream like THAT in a long while. Normally I would be aware that I was lucid dreaming, where I'm able to manipulate some things here and there, or that I simply know that I'm dreaming.

Here's what happened:

-PART I-

I am, immediately, walking to the jeepney stop that goes all the way down Pedro Gil to get to Taft Avenue. I am listening to Anberlin songs from their album Vital, but Orpheum seems to stand out. It begins to rain and I feel the droplets land on my skin. The water is cool and soothing. I feel like I'm in someone's embrace. I get on the jeep and watch as faces pass me by. They are all going about their business, walking, talking, gesturing. The rain gets stronger. The raindrops are ice cold. I feel the warmth from my body dissipate.

I get off at my stop, running to the nearest cover which was 7-11. I come inside and look out the window. Other people are running for cover as well. Two couples have smile on their faces. Their cheeks are red with excitement. I notice some lonely feeling somewhere in the back of my mind, crawling its way out.

I sit down and wait for the rain to stop. I buy prepare instant coffee. As I mix it, I think of the day ahead. There will be much walking. The rain stops abruptly. For a split second, everything is grey and stops. I am alone. Everything resumes.

I get up, not even touching the coffee, and move on. I walk down Taft towards UN Avenue. I take out a Philip and light it. I smoke while I walk the two blocks. Someone asks for a light. I offer him my cigarette. We go about our business. I turn the corner of UN Avenue towards NBI. I stand in front of the gate and read:

WE ARE SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE.
ALL CLEARANCE APPLICANTS PROCEED TO OUR NBI SATELLITES

AT THE FOLLOWING ROBINSON'S OUTLETS

I read Robinson's Galleria. I am tired. Someone bumps into me. It is raining again.

-PART TWO-

I wake up and I am lying on the floor of someone's balcony. I see an eagle flying overhead. The tiles are cold from the rain. I realize I am soaking  wet. She comes out offering a towel. I take it. She has her own and proceeds to dry me up. I take her hand and tell her I missed her. She says nothing.

We go inside. It is still dusty as before. The couch smells of something stale. We sit there, looking out at the horizon. There are cars passing over a bridge. A few other houses sit down the hill. The rain starts again, but  stronger this time. The wind blows into the room. I ask her how long it has been. She takes my hands and counts nine. She says she missed me too.

I feel cold.

-PART THREE-

I wake up and I am lying on the bench on my balcony. The few is beautiful despite the dreary look of our garage. The orange hues make everything look dreamlike. Everything looks hazy. The rain makes it even prettier. I remember the call I just made a few days ago. It wasn't the smartest thing to do. I remember my dad. I break down and cry, wondering what a kid like me was supposed to do with my life.

-PART FOUR-

I wake up and I am on a bus. She is sitting beside me, asleep, listening to music from her phone. She looks silly, with her mouth open. I caress her cheek. I think how lovely she is. She wakes up a little annoyed. She notices that it's me and smiles. I smile back. She goes back to sleep.

The sound of raindrops hitting the bus is loud. I hear dead voices. I hold her hand, stroke her arm. I am unperturbed. I have heard them before. Only memories trying to haunt me. I look at her again. She is sound asleep. I laugh to myself. I appreciate the simplicity of our situation. I wonder if it stays the same.

The bus stops. I wake her up. We get off the bus. I help her down. I carry her bag while she holds our umbrella. We walk to the jeep that will take us to Town Center. The jeep is full. I ask if she wants to walk. She laughs and tells me it's too far. I argue that it's not.

We get on the next jeep. The rain gets even stronger. No one notices. The rain is warm to the touch. I remember tears. She asks me what's on my mind. I smile and tell her it's nothing. We hold hands for the whole ride.

-END-

I wake up not realizing it's the real world. I get up and hit the showers. I soak for what felt like an hour. I got out and got ready to leave for Manila. I look at myself in the mirror. I feel the ring on my finger. It feels heavy. I wear my clothes and get to walking. I listen to Anberlin as I make my way to the jeepney stop that takes me down Pedro Gil. I realize that I've been here before and that I've done this before.

I realize I am really awake.

Well. There you go. Dreams are weird. Very fucking weird.