Life isn't about being perfect. Trying to hard to ace everything is a road that'll lead to nowhere. So far life has showed me that I am a block of marble chipped down by constant mistakes. From the original shape which I can't truly explain, I have become what I am now: a big pile of mistake.
I am constantly reminding myself that I am new to life. That I will always be new to life. It is hard to say so, especially when I've gone through a lot. But it seems, and I dread, that the worst is yet to come.
Somehow a part of me does not fear the uncertainty. Neither does that part of me feel excited about uncertainty. He simply sees it and accepts it for what it is. I can't answer questions, or say anything that I have no idea about. I don't think I can be that person who talks for the sake of talking. Words should not be wasted on idle talk.
Does this make sense? As I look at it now, it seems I am scared to fall short of expectations. Or at the least, I am scared of being in the wrong. What is this, pride? Maybe. Most probably. But also I've don't the dumbest mistakes out of sheer compulsion--a spur of the moment kind of thing.
I don't regret my mistakes. Or the mistakes people perceive that I have commited. They are me. Without the education that is my mistakes, there would not be the me who I am today.
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